Park So-Nyo, the incredibly saintly (and elderly) matriarch of a Korean family of six, disappears after being separated from her husband at a Seoul subway station. The family struggles with disbelief, guilt and desperation as the search stretches from weeks into months. As told through the perspectives of the adult children (oldest son and daughter) and their parents, one realizes that the family never really knew Mother and never appreciated her sacrifices for them.
The author, herself from a rural background, writes vividly of the harshness of rural life and the stresses on families that are split between children who have moved to the cities and the parents who have stayed at home. There are generational as well as geographic differences. How selfish are Hyong-chol and Chi-hon? Did the demands of their careers and urban lives lead inevitably to the breakdown of communication with their parents? Is this typical of their generation?
Shin informs the reader of many aspects of Korean culture: the veneration of ancestors, the role and expectations of the eldest son, the removal of a daughter from her own to her husband's family, responsibilities of children to their parents and siblings to each other. She writes of the importance of education and the devastation when a child either fails in school or cannot go to school. So-Nyo sells her ring so that Chi-hon can stay in school and suffers shame from her own illiteracy. Her husband's younger brother dies tragically, his life seemingly doomed after he has to leave school to work on the farm.
Self-examination and regret permeate the story, but there are also moments of reconnection and affirmation in the family's struggle with its loss.
Please Look After Mom is an amazing read and one of the best books that I've read in a long time. While on the surface it is a story about an older South Korean woman, it is really a story about love, parenthood, sacrifice, and family. It's message is universal - read the book and share it with people that you love.
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